it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
