If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
