i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
