I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
