I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
