i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
