Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I love having hate sex.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
