Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
