laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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