I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
