everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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