oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
