Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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