I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i will never coherently bang her
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
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Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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