Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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