I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
