if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
