Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so let's talk penis.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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