discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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