wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs