Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.