It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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