she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize