Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
