Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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