happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
