This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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