the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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