try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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