i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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