I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
