And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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