I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
