She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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