I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
These tits shall not be calmed
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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