wrigley field is MILF paradise
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize