so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
