who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
