yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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