I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
