whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
