google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
