I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize