come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize