hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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