So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
