I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So apparently I’m into choking now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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