Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
pray to the hookup gods
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
