I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
