shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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