Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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