that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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