haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
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Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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