Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
