It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
