i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sext me about skeletons
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
