i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
