areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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