hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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