I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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