talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize