Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize