He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
