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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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