Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hate all girls vehemently.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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