I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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