please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
