I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
