I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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