What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Acid is not a monday night drug
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
